Saturday 7 October 2017


Being a parent is amazing, having my girls fills me with so much love and happiness and i am so proud of all three of them but there are times when it gets tough,and i mean tough, and being mum,again,feels like a nightmare sometimes - and that is OK.

I am currently on maternity leave after having little Nila, 13 weeks old, before Nila, i worked as a community carer and absolutely loved my job- i loved the interaction with my clients and working with my colleagues, i was never in and that is how i liked it.

My days off would be filled with snuggles on the sofa with Kadiann and Alessia, who at 13 and 8, loved nothing more than a bag of popcorn and a movie on a Saturday night.We had a routine and it was perfect.

I hadn't planned on having anymore children, but something clicked once i hit 30, and i had the urge for another little bundle and that's when Nila came along.Our worlds have been turned upside down,literally, every single aspect of our 'old life' has gone and it upsets me. I love Nila to pieces, don't get me wrong. i just feel like the older girls are losing their mum and i am struggling with it, i really am.

Some days are better than others and we make the most of them. Nila is now sleeping through the night so i am hoping this will leave the evenings free for the girls , and we can make a new routine where everyone gets some one on one time and we get our movie nights back- we are actually going to the cinema tomorrow-Nila in tow- brave or stupid, i am not quite sure yet, but i do know that i want to make sure that Kadiann and Alessia know that this wont be forever and we are all trying to find our feet with our new little addition.

Becoming a family of 5,has completed us,although me and the girls want a dog,but Scott is having none of it!. I am sure things will get easier,and some days are.I am hoping that the mum guilt will pass as it has hit me like a ton of bricks today and it doesn't seem to want to shift.

Have any of you felt like this after another little one? have you any tips? i would love to hear your stories..

Thanks For Reading

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