I’m writing this on my phone whilst laying with my little Nila bug. How are you 2 already. No more baby, a fully fledged toddler with so much sass, and the cutest little comedian you ever did see!.

You are  probably wondering where I am going with this , the truth is I don’t really know where to start. I’m feeling all kinds of emotions tonight about the fact that Nila is definitely our last baby.

If you are not aware , then I am due to have hernia repair surgery tomorrow and I have already had my pre- op appointment and the discussion came up about more children and pregnancy.

I hadn’t even thought about it to be honest , Nila’s a handful and we always joke about no more, as we have three girls already and it’s like hormone central in our house , no word of a lie :)

But when someone says you basically can’t have anymore , it’s like a smack in the face!. The nurse discussed the procedure and said if I was to fall pregnant , the pregnancy will more than likely undo the surgery repair and the hernia will appear again.

Now, the surgery itself is worrying me half to death as it is . I suffer with extreme high anxiety when it comes to things like this , so the thought of it coming undone, is my worst nightmare .

So after the past few days I’ve been really taking in what the nurse has pretty much told me - no more babies. It’s a hard pill to swallow , and my mood has been low , really low and I think this is why.

I have three beautiful daughters and I am truly blessed to have all three of them and they are happy little munchkins , well Kay not so much little but they are all my little babies and I am trying to hold on to that fact.

I am probably all emotional and hormonal due to that time of the month and the fact that Nila is snoring and sounds like a little piglet right now - she is so cute!!

I will be ok , I am sure . I just felt the need to write it down , does anyone else have them moments? , right I’m off to finish this cup of tea and get to bed , but before I do I’m going to snuggle with this one for a little while longer X


  1. What a personal post. Like you said you'll be OK and you've got your hands full with Nila for at least the next 18 years (and beyond!) ;)

  2. Bless it, it can be quite emotional, especially when it has not really sunk in. Good luck with the surgery.

  3. Its not easy when the decision is made for you. But you have a beautiful family x

  4. Yes, I have those moments too and writing it down definitely helps. Wishing you well. Mich x

  5. Such a hard decision to have had to think about, getting your thoughts out of your head and written down will help

  6. I felt like this when my husband was sterilised but we both decided that our family was big enough and it was definitely the right choice


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