People often assume that relationships are going to last forever. When you’re in the heart of a relationship, it can certainly feel that way. Furthermore, you might have already put several years of your life into making a relationship work. If this is the case, it will likely mean that you are reluctant to let a bad relationship go even if you can spot the red lights from a mile away.
It’s important to be aware that even if you have been in a relationship for more than five years, this is still nothing compared to the rest of your life. That’s why it’s important to let your relationship go as soon as you know it can’t be repaired. But what comes next? Here are some of the steps that you may need to consider.
Have You Tried Counseling?
First, you might want to consider counseling options. It’s important to be aware that the end of a relationship can be traumatic and might cause significant levels of pain or anguish. It can also cause problems with your emotional health too. That’s why it’s important to make sure that you consider reaching out to a counselor. A counselor can guide you through the process of breaking up and letting go of a relationship that may have been a key part of your life for years.
It’s also possible that your relationship has been lost due to issues with abuse which can be physical, sexual, or emotional. Regardless of the type of abuse that you have endured, support from a counselor will often be necessary to help you through this trauma and ensure that you can move on.
Is There Nothing Left To Save?
If you have tried counseling, then you have obviously decided that there is something left to save. However, some people decide not to go down this route and have to work out for themselves whether the relationship that they are currently in is worth trying to save. You will know if there isn’t, because even if it is hard, you will know in your heart that you are no longer willing to put in the effort with your partner. This does not necessarily mean that you have fallen out of love with them, but it just means that what you have together is not worth it to you any longer.
One of the quickest ways to tell if your relationship has nothing left to save is if you are more in love with the memories that you have with the person than the person standing right in front of you.
Going Through The Divorce Process
If you are married and it’s time to let go of your relationship, then the divorce process is one that you are going to have to go through. We recommend that you get family law legal advice on your side to get you through the process as it can be quite long and drawn out. It’s best if you can get through this with as few disagreements as possible, as you don’t want to be in the courts any longer than is necessary. If you can agree to the terms of your divorce fairly quickly, it can be a clean break with as little hurt as possible.
Try to remember that you are both going through the divorce process and that you are both feeling the effects of it. The same can be said if you have children, even though you should not be involving them as much as possible.
Your Kids Are Not Weapons
Do you have kids? If so, then it’s important to make sure that you are making them your top priority. However difficult you think this process is going to be for you, it’s going to be ten times worse for your kids. That’s why it’s important to make sure that you are helping them through this process every step of the way. It’s one of the reasons why it’s important to ensure that the breakup is amicable. You do not want this to turn into a battleground where your kids don’t know where they stand or from what direction the next hit will come from.
It’s also important that you don’t fall into the trap of using your kids as weapons. You can do this without even fully thinking about it. You might want to punish your partner and do this by preventing your child from seeing them. However, if they have never shown evidence that they can’t be trusted as a parent then there’s no reason for you to do this. Instead, it will be an act of spite and this should always be avoided. If you notice your partner using your child as a weapon against you, then you should sit down and discuss the situation with them carefully.
Moving Forward Together
In some cases, it’s not going to be as simple as cutting the other person out of your life. This is especially going to be the case if you have children and you have decided to co-parent together. As such, you have got to work out a way to move forward together, without constantly getting at each other's throats. In some cases, this is going to include working out a custody agreement so that you can both see your children and co-parent effectively without involving the kids.
It’s not the easiest thing to do, and if only you two are involved in the relationship then it’s going to make it a whole lot easier. You can decide whether you want to move forward as friends, or split ways here.
We hope that you have found this article helpful, and now see some of the things that you need to think about if it’s time to let go of your relationship. Not all relationships are made to stand the test of time, and that is okay, as long as you manage to handle what comes next as best you can. We wish you the very best of luck, and hope that you now know what steps
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